Imposter
I have perfect eyesight, but I'd be lying if I told you that I've never been fooled by a raisin cookie left on a platter by some do-gooder host trying to feed me a healthier snack.
My hopes flying high with the possibility of a classic confection were dashed on the rocks of reality when I realized the cookie's star ingredient was dried fruits, attempting to be as delicious as semi-sweet chocolate. Screw you, raisin cookie, you great betrayer!
Sometimes I wonder.
Will people be disappointed when they realize I'm a raisin cookie when they were hoping I was chocolate chip?
Imposter Syndrome happens to some of us when we believe we are undeserving of our achievements and don't have the intelligence, skills or qualifications others think we have. I do struggle with Imposter Syndrome.
When I put on a suit and tie in the morning, I'll occasionally look in the mirror, and for a brief moment, I don't see an Executive Director- I see a youth pastor with a bachelor's degree in theology wearing a business suit.
"Boy am I lucky. I'm just not smart enough to have what I have."
I once used that line while talking to a friend and he called me out on my insecurity. "Yes, you are," he said with a sternness that caught me off guard. He wasn't letting me get away with it. The way he said it challenged me, and I realized that no one was being served by my insecurity and self-doubt. I was paying tribute to a false god called luck.
I needed to stop giving luck credit for work it didn't do, books it didn't read, and experiences it did not earn. I was also giving luck credit for the help others had given me. The truth is that mentors invested in me, colleagues encouraged me, and leaders opened doors for me. I also had to accept that I wasn't giving credit to those who appointed me to the positions I've had over the years. They knew what they were looking for, and they believed I was fit for the role.
I was the chocolate chip cookie!
Yes, I am a person of faith, and I do believe the power of prayer through several generations continues to propel me forward. I'd be a fool not to acknowledge this. But I need to remind myself that I've earned what I have in life without taking it for granted.
Remaining humble is believing you’re not entitled to having more than anyone else. We also remain humble by seizing every opportunity available to us to learn more. You can do all of this and be confident. That’s ok.
So my friend, thank you for reading; don’t let Luck bully you into thinking it did everything for you. Keep working hard.