When I was little, my parents gave me the gift of enrolling in french immersion kindergarten. I would continue in french immersion until I graduated from high school. However, I didn't always feel like it was a gift. Neither of my parents spoke french, so in my early years, homework was a challenge, and we often needed to call others who could help us out. But, I learned, and after a few years, I spoke and read fluently in french.

It's now been decades since I've had to speak french regularly, but I can still understand it when I hear it. French words translate in real-time in my brain, and I can generally keep up with what the speaker is trying to say. However, speaking in that language is a different challenge. First of all, I simply don't practice my french anymore, so finding the words can be difficult. The other problem would be that I sound pretty good when I attempt to speak in French. I know what the words are supposed to sound like, and as far as Canadian french goes, I only have a slight English accent, which can give someone the false impression that I'm prepared to have a good hearty discussion in french. So the conversation is a bit one-sided, I know precisely what the speaker means, but I have a challenge with being able to communicate back.

This week, I had a similar observation while listening to a podcast—the pod deals with pop culture, current events, faith, and community. The host of the show is an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi, and not being from his culture; I love hearing his observations and insights on all the topics the show covers. The featured guest that week was an evangelical, charismatic Christian. Someone from the same culture that I grew up in. He had been invited onto the podcast because he had a previous career as a Hollywood actor, and he was invited to speak on his experience as an actor.

I was not prepared for how challenging it was for me to listen to him speak. I loved his enthusiasm, I loved his sense of humor, and I admired his passion. What I couldn't get over was his constant use of Evangelical lingo. He would say things like, "Y'know, God was doing something," or he'd say things like, "And God starting saying to me," and then he would flip over to, "And then, the enemy started speaking to me," and "I came to church, and someone spoke over me." The guest would also make assumptions about the host that was, frankly...bonkers. At one point, he said, "cuz you know Jesus just changes your life, you know what I'm sayin'?"

I understand what those words mean because I was raised in that tradition. But, I so desperately wanted to jump into the conversation and tell the guest, "Buddy...no one knows what that means; back it up and explain yourself a bit. I can tell people love your spirit, but your lack of self-awareness is embarrassing. Speak English! Why can’t Christians just speak normally when it counts?!"

It was as if I was listening to a language I used to speak but finding it hard to relate to or converse with. It's been decades since I've felt an affinity with that kind of Christianity. I was likely projecting a bit of embarrassment of my earlier self onto the speaker on the podcast. That awkward feeling I had throughout the interview was more about me than the guest. After all, the show's host, an Orthodox Jew, seemed to take it in stride and was extremely hospitable in the conversation. I also reminded myself that the people who associated with me after leaving full-time ministry were very gracious to me and my evangelical accent. I now speak differently.

I am a Christian, but I've come to terms with the fact that my experience has been one of continual transformation. I don't believe everything I believed as a child. I don't speak as I did as a teenager. Yes, I have actively and deliberately rejected previously held beliefs even as a young adult. I've taken a peek over slippery slopes, and my experience has been that the world did not end. If you can relate, let me encourage you that it's ok to look behind the curtain and learn that your fears were unfounded. It’s normal if you notice a change in your language.

The Bible records the beginning of the church in the book of Acts. It’s a book that lays out a pattern for what a Christian lifestyle can look like. Christians are people who speak different languages and see the beauty of different cultures. They eat new foods, and they explore new terrains. They don't conquer; they serve.

So if you find it awkward listening to other Christians, I want to encourage you first to cut yourself some slack. It may be that you're probably a bit angry at your past. Secondly, give room for that culture and be gracious. Finally, trust there is a process. Your job is to be ready to help guide someone when they're prepared to learn a new language.