Waiting For The Lottery

For many of us, Christmas 2020 was rough. I remember writing this after having to shut down the hotel I managed just before Christmas. Thankfully, I’m in a much different place in 2022, but the need to be kind and gracious is still relevant today. If you’re going through a rough patch today, you’re not alone.

Waiting For The Lottery

On Tuesday, I had to close the hotel for the second time in the pandemic. We tried our best, but unfortunately, our best efforts were not enough. We'll have to try and reopen again, hopefully early in the new year.

While driving to work, the challenging conversations of the previous week were playing over in my mind. "But what am I suppose to tell my wife?!" said one person as I delivered the news. Later that same day, a server told me in tears, "but, this is the place where I feel safe."

All of them were understanding, but even then, being laid off is never easy. Intellectually I know I didn't cause this pain, but I also know that I wasn't able to stop it from happening. I hate this pandemic and what it's doing to people's lives. I wish I could end it. If I could do it before closing the doors of the hotel, that would be great.

When I was about 5 minutes away from work, I passed a Lotto Max billboard. On Tuesday, it read "60 Million Dollars." and I thought to myself, "If only I had 60 Million Dollars, I could stop this from happening." A silly daydream then plays out in my mind, one where I call everyone back and fix everything that's wrong with this situation. The dream ends when I pull up to the building, and I start my day. I finish the day by laying myself off and join my team on the breadline.

I started thinking about Christmas. I remembered that in the Bible, the people expecting Christ were expecting a mighty leader that would deliver them from the Roman Empire, ending suffering, ending injustice, and making everything right. Instead, that Christmas, the world received a baby in a manger. He lived a life that experienced all the joys and disappointments that we know. A life lived in solidarity with all of humankind. No disappointment skipped.

I can't help but think that a deep part of the Christmas story is finding purpose in all life's earthy, gritty challenges that we can't escape. It's about living life, not winning lotteries. That outlook pushes me to be reminded that I can't fix the world, but I also can't run away from it. Accept my limitations, embracing my responsibilities while moving forward a step at a time with optimism. Christmas is about hope confronting the darkness of the present day even though pain is inevitable.

Be kind this season. Authentic and hopeful. Look to life, not the lottery.