Are You Happy? Part II
This is the second of a 3 part series I’ve been writing on being happy. Part 1 is here.
Am I in the right job?
Did I pick the right career?
Would it have been better had I moved to another city?
Did I make a mistake in turning down that opportunity?
If I could go back in time, what would I change?
How do I feel about these questions? Well, about the same way I feel about not knowing what to watch on NETFLIX, DISNEY+, Prime, AppleTV, or CRAVE when I have time to watch a movie. The choice to watch "Obi-Wan Kenobi" means I'll miss out on watching "Better Call Saul."
Whatever shall I do? What burdens I carry.
Here's another way to look at this challenge. Being able to decline an opportunity is a privilege. Being able to walk away from a job, a community, a belief system, a culture, or even a religion means we've reached a place in life where these choices don't overpower us. I think that's a good thing. Yes, there are some low-grade anxieties to work through, but it's better than the alternative; having no options.
When I get to this point and recognize that privilege in myself, I'm better at showing empathy for those who don't have a choice:
The server at the fast-food restaurant,
The cashier at the grocery store
The night shift attendant at the 24 hour convenience store located downtown.
Or even the one who does all three jobs to pay rent.
They're working with the best opportunity available to them. I’m not suggesting these jobs or businesses are predatory; not at all, but they are tough jobs that don’t pay well. It’s possible the people working in these spaces may not be able to say no. They can't hold out for a better option. Stress has a terrible way of blinding you to the possibilities of life. You can't dream about your next thing if your nightmare job is your best option to put food on your table.
It's like only having TV channels 3, 4, 13, and 9 if you have good rabbit ears... Nothing like Netflix.
If I succeed at getting to this point of empathy, I try to remember those working tough jobs and do what I can to help create options for them. Tip big, support businesses that pay their people well, and be kind and gracious at the grocery checkout. This perspective holds me accountable when I see anyone backed into a corner and I don't do enough to help them. As a leader, this idea challenges me to look for ways to open doors for the people I work with.
Don't feel guilty about the many choices you have in life- but do take action when you see someone struggling on a one-way street with nowhere to turn. Unfortunately, there are evil people and systems taking advantage of those with few choices. We need to confront them.
Power has options, and we should all know by now, "With great power comes great responsibility."
When you give generously to causes you believe in, you may be limiting your options for things you can enjoy, but you're opening up doors for those who may never have keys to those locks.
Friend, thank you for reading.
Be kind, be generous, kick some barriers down for someone this week, and help them find new paths!