Less Afraid
I was terrified...
It was the fall of my first year of elementary school at École Father Jan in the latter half of the 1980s in St. Albert. I had a small group of buddies that I would hang out with at recess. We'd run, play tag, build sandcastles, and climb on the playground equipment. All normal activities for seven-year-old boys. There was this one kid in our group, and I feel like every group of seven-year-old boys has one—the kid who told ghost stories.
"You know what my older brother says? He says that if you go into the gym bathroom, turn off the lights, and say Bloody Mary three times and then spin around, the ghost of Bloody Mary will appear and take you away, and you'll never be seen again!" This was new to me, I had never heard of a ritual like this or believed one could summon up a deadly ghost using a washroom. Another one of my friends chimed in, "yeah, my older brother said the same thing. He did it, saw her, and then he ran away before she could catch him." As these stories were shared, our small group of friends collectively became frightened of what could happen if curiosity got the better of us, and someone ended up summoning this demonic ghost!
Our little group let this story stew for a week or two before finally, in gym class; we randomly asked our gym teacher if he knew about this potential gateway to Hell that could be opened in the school gymnasium. I remember him laughing, and then he crouched down and got eye level with us. "Oh no, a Bloody Mary is really just a drink adults like to have from time to time; there's no ghost; you don't have to worry about it."
It's silly now, but it felt wonderful to be assured that my fears were unfounded. The feeling of relief cascading from your head and then to your heart is of immense value to anyone, whether they are seven years old or ninety-seven. When I think of the people in my life who have helped me the most, it was the ones who made me feel less afraid. When I couldn't see a future beyond my fear, there have been people who've directed my vision to hopeful possibilities.
How did they do it? They listened, they related, and they offered their insights. Even if they couldn't fully understand my fears, or even solve them for that matter, they showed their loyalty, and that's made an enormous difference in my life. Great teachers do that for us; they share light when our perspectives only see darkness. I moved on from being afraid of the Bloody Mary Ghost, but I'd pick up new fears over the years. In hind site, most of them were small, but some were legitimately enormous. I'm grateful for the teachers in my life who were willing to help me see that the world isn't as dark as I thought.
Some of them were formal teachers, but many of my teachers have been family, managers, and leaders. I try to follow their example. The world is full of voices that want us all to be afraid. Afraid of those who are different, afraid of what the future will bring, or even afraid of conspiracies. There is a market for inspiring fear and anger. Yes, there is often cause for concern, but fear is paralyzing, and we need more people who are willing to make an investment in our collective courage.
Thanks for reading, friend! My hope for you is that you are able to be that person that helps someone else be less afraid.