The Callin’ Coyotes: An Edmonton Bedtime Story

Actual Coyotes on my way to work

When I put my kids to bed, I try to challenge myself to come up with an original story for them. Usually told on the fly, here's one of those stories. Enjoy!

The Callin' Coyotes.

Many years ago, when I first returned to the city, I lived on the tenth floor of an apartment building just off of Jasper Ave. During the summer, I would open my window and listen to the sounds of the street. One quiet evening, I could hear the distinct howls of a pack of coyotes. I was curious, so I walked down over to the river valley near Victoria Golf Course. As I followed the howling sounds and within minutes, I could see four Coyotes singing to the moon. One of them looked over and saw me, and then seconds later, all four of them were running toward me. I was startled, and I ran in the opposite direction as I was clearly in danger.

A moment passed, and then I heard the words,

"Hey, man! Why you runnin'? We're just here trying to get some advice!" I looked around, and to my amazement, It was the first Coyote speaking.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Carl Coyote, and this is my brother Calvin. Over there… is my cousin Chris and finally," he pointed with this snout, "my brother-in-law Clyde Coyote. Together we are the 'Callin’ Coyotes,' and we're a band. The Fleet Foxes inspired us. We were a bit disappointed when we found out that they weren't actually foxes, but we like their style."

Naturally, I replied, "How can I help you?"

"See, we've been trying to get gigs here in the city because the food is great! There are all kinds of cats, rabbits, and dogs for us to eat. While that's been a bonus, the people here don't seem to appreciate us. They throw shoes at us, scream at us, honk their horns at us, and generally make us feel unwelcome. We're looking for some advice. What should we do?"

My Coyote friends were in a predicament. They wanted good food, and they wanted to perform for a hospitable audience. I came up with a solution.

"Let's promote a concert out in the country, and instead of selling tickets, concert-goers can bring steak as a form of payment. If they like what they hear, they'll throw steak!"

I could see that Clyde was nervous, so I asked him what was wrong.

"The last time I tried singing in the country, I almost got shot!"

I could see that this would be a problem.

"Well, we'll make a deal with the concert-goers, no guns, and once you're done performing, you'll head back to your dens here in the city and only go to the country to sing." They all nodded in agreement.

So we promoted the first "Carl and the Callin' Coyotes" concert somewhere north of the city. It was a huge success. They kicked off the concert with their signature tune. It goes like this.

"Awoooooo! Imma coyote singing for you!

Awooooo! I'll eat your cat and your little dog too!

Awoooooo! Imma coyote singing till the dawn is new! Awoooo!"

They sold lots of merch, received over three hundred pounds of meat, and went home satisfied.

And that, my son, is how I helped kick-start the Callin' Coyotes career.

The End, good night!