Prayer for the Unremarkable
Every now and then, someone will comment on my fairly mellow and easygoing disposition. “You’re just a quiet, calm guy”. It’s a very kind way of saying that I’m unremarkable. I don’t believe the observation has ever been intended to be demeaning or insulting; the person is just making a matter-of-fact note that I don’t stand out. More often than not, it’s meant as a compliment. I’m aware that there is no direct path to victory if you want me on your team with the intent of building a big brand. Most of the time, I’m comfortable with this.
But…Sometimes, the off-hand remark about my personality does pull at a small, frayed strand of insecurity in me. The kind that reminds me that in order to survive and thrive, I need to stand out in a crowd.
Either be the cool kid…or be left out.
This kind of thought has poked at all of us at some point and motivated us to become more competitive. If we don’t address it, that poke becomes an arrow of fear that will wedge itself deeper into our hearts.
I work hard every day and try not to get in other people's way or stir up trouble. I don't even ask for much attention, but it'd be nice to have a bit. This world we live in has very little room for the unremarkable. Our culture puts its focus on the new kid- the kid whose drama demands all the extra attention right now. The new kid has a more compelling story than mine. His pain is getting the likes, her story is getting the love and their success is worth celebrating. If these aspects of life command attention, I sometimes feel the temptation to contrive pain and exaggerate my story. In many ways, I feel like I identify with the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. The story of a young man who leaves his family with a pile of inheritance money from his father. After he quickly spends all of the money, he finds himself in dire straights. The son then comes to his senses and decides to return home with the hope that his father will have him back as a servant. Not only does his father take him back; he throws a huge party and celebrates the return of his Prodigal Son. For a time, all of the father’s attention appears to be given to the son who was in trouble just a few days earlier. The Prodigal had an older brother; a steady, loyal, and reliable son who remained home without causing hurt to the family. I’m sure folks told him, “You’re just a quiet, calm guy…”
The desire to grab attention is natural, but fear can coerce us to seek it when it’s not needed.
We see fear-related symptoms creep up in Canada when we celebrate Indigenous people, the Pride community, or any marginalized group. Inevitably a group feels irked by the recognition of diversity. In some extreme cases, the fruit of that deep-rooted fear pushed people over the edge. Show me a group that gravitates to intimidation and violence and I’ll sure you a group that’s missing a foundation of love. Giving attention to those who need support to bring them to a place where Canada feels like home doesn’t take away from the rest of us.
In the story of the Prodigal Son; the Father picks up on the older son’s malaise and pulls him aside.
I hear a paraphrased version of what he says to his son in my own spirit when I start to feel like I’ve been left behind. It sounds like this…
"Son, you, don't need to pretend to be hurt to be loved.
You are loved.
You don't need to be more successful to be loved.
You are loved
There's enough love in the universe for you.
You can't be loved more or less, because you cannot portion out eternity or quantify what’s infinite.
Every day of your life has been an opportunity to celebrate. All of my love, grace, and power rests on you always. You have my attention."
His eye is still on the sparrow. None of us are bland and we are all unique.
And with that, I breathe out and feel a celebration of life rush into my lungs as I breathe in. I've come home to the place where my soul should always rest. In light of eternity, the celebration of another person doesn't diminish the value of my story. We’re all connected. There is enough in this world for everyone.
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